I really am. And I feel like the last few posts have been an unending flow of negativity.And today, I wanted to talk about the fact that despite my apprehensions, I managed to be pretty chipper. I had a delightful evening last night. I was chairdancing at work. I managed to smile a few times. I have been Getting Things Accomplished.
And reality just keeps fucking with me and mine.
We are an estimated $4000 in the hole this month alone on medical bills. I can't even afford to get a will or a medical power of attorney written.
My sister decided to have a mental health issue today, and was carried off to the hospital today in Normal, IL. I still don't know what happened, or how she is; I only know what happened because the police told me she'd been picked up.
Tomorrow is the meeting at work where I find out who's covering for me and what my long-term job duties will be, and my anxiety is using this opportunity to beat me up repeatedly. I'm also having my first really bad -- like gut-clenching, nauseating bad -- moments of fear around surgery.
Elisabeth has a horrible migraine.
I just feel like there's some universal piling-on going on today, and it pisses me off. Which, of course, gives me a headache. Which I hardly need help with, really.
I have given a lot, I think, over the last few years. I'm just in a space now where I need something given to me. Universe, you listening?
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